He Loves Me - He Loves Me Not

I've been reading an amazing book by Wayne Jacobsen. It's called "He Loves Me". Wonderful. In it, he talks about "the favour line"....as in, that conditioning we get from "life" that if things are going well that must be God's favour...our reward for a job well done. And if things are not going well that must be God's disfavour...His disappointment for our sin, or whatever we're not doing well. It rang a cord with me.

As children, our parents showed us their favour if we obeyed...and their disfavour if we didn't. That left us wondering if their love was give and take. Be good and you'll feel my love...be bad and you'll feel my displeasure. So it goes in school...the good, deligent, hard working of us were rewarded with grades, applause and promotion...the lazy, or not so bright...well, you get the picture.

This cause and effect / reward and punishment has permeated our souls, and coloured how we see our Father. Somewhat like how we saw our earthly fathers - well, for those that had one anyway. (I didn't, but I digress). It suggests that my behavior puts me either above the "favour line" or below it. When below it, try harder to get above it...win His approval, much like we found ourselves winning our parents approval after messing up as little children.

I remember an incident when I was a fairly new believer. My cousin and I skipped school and work respectively and went to the mall for the day. While there, my cousin passed out due to her monthly intrusion, and panicked old ladies who were convinced she was on drugs called 911. The emts arrived, and took my cousin to the hospital, and long story short..when we got home we were told that because of our disobediance, we were out from under God's protection and hence the incident occurred. This left me with a sense that if I screw up, I get punished. Crazy how these things get into the soul and effect corrosion.

I'm only half through the book but have much to chew on....this "He Loves Me"...food worth chewing on for sure.